Jim tells his storiez to teh peoples Donut associate with any of these miscreants Thesis

To better understand these stories I’d like give to give you a little background information about Jim Bastard and how he came to be. It’s is a long tale of highs and lows, fortunes and woes, and circumstances which at times push the limits of a human’s physical and mental endurance.

Jim is an evil genius. Ever since third grade he was different from other people. Everyone would tell young Jim how intelligent he was but it wasn’t until Jim was nine years old he realized his potential. Jim was finishing his schoolwork before any of his classmates and was he was getting perfect scores. Then came the Otis-Lennon Aptitude test. Jim was told he was more intelligent than 99.9% of his peers. You can imagine what this can do to a nine year olds’ ego.

Jim lived on a large estate that had pretty much any amenity you can think of. He had a loving family and a great future ahead of him. Fast forward thirteen years.

Divorce, bankruptcy, wicked step mothers, drugs, video cameras, money, jail, and a whole lot of Dutch Masters. Jim seems to have gone astray.

These are his stories.

FAQ

Q: Who is Jim Bastard?
A: I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you.

Q: Where did the name Jim Bastard come from?
A: Jim Bastard was first nationally recognized by his proper name in a New York Magazine article. You can find it here: http://nymag.com/news/features/27341/index5.html

Q: What is this whole “Priceless” incident I keep hearing about?
A: I refuse to answer on the grounds which I might self incinerate myself.

Q: Seriously come on tell me about how I can find the video, if you don’t tell me I’m gonna email you asking for it.
A: My block list is thousands of people long. I’d be glad to add another address. Stop asking me, I’m never going to tell you.

Q: Are these stories real?
A: No, everything is made up.

Q: Is Jim Bastard real?
A: I like to think there is a little Jim Bastard in all of us.

Q: I heard a rumor that Jim Bastard was a rap superstar, is this true?
A: Yes.

Q: How can I get in contact with the bastard?
A: JimBastard (@) (g-g-g-gmail) (d0t) (c0m). I can promise unless you are a comely woman (with pictures) he will not respond.

 
DISCLAIMER: The following collection of stories are intended as pure acts of fiction. All characters, names and places used are fictitious and are used herein for the purposes of comment, criticism, parody, pointing out political and social injustices in our society, and providing entertainment for all of humanity to enjoy. Any similarity to real people, without parodic purpose, is a coincidence. In summation Jim Bastard is not real.